On such nights it is hard to go to sleep cause I just got off a magic carpet ride. In the light of Zeyneb Uras and Chris Chavez we come together as Cihangir Yoga's intern teachers every so often. Each time it is a different ride, so tonight's meeting was with my queen bee Zeyneb Uras. I feel very happy to be a part of this healing circle. We meet once a month to talk about how we feel, to share our experiences and to practice together. Each time I leave the circle with an inspirational quote. This time the quote belongs to Zeyneb Uras: " We are not teaching, we are sharing." this gentle soul said. As someone who is in her earlier stages of teaching when compared to masters like Zeyneb and Chris, I do feel a sense of responsibility, the question of being good enough haunts me every now and then, so hearing this does really make me approach the act of teaching in a different way. Do I teach or do I share? Teaching happens one sided, it holds a hierarchical attitude whereas sharing is something that is done mutually. I share what I know, I share what I feel, and most importantly I share what I AM. Whoever I am, at home, on the street, at the museum or in my social circle is reflected onto my experience in teaching / sharing yoga. I see an exhibition, I get inspired and set my class on what I saw. So each teaching / sharing experience is a magic carpet ride on its own. I have finally got to the stage of enjoying the process, the process of sharing and being who I am in the studio, with ever changing faces that come and take the journey with me. Some people, come again and again, this makes me happy. Some days I get only one student, this makes me happy, some other days I get 15 this makes me happy too. However, I still do get a feeling of shivers when I get 15 or more students, I am hoping that this shall pass one day too :)
I do realize that I feel better with smaller groups of students, and a slower flow, so what I am going through really does make me step out of what I am used to and what I enjoyed the most so far. It is now time to enjoy this new place, this new experience and make the best out of it.
Limitations was another point that was made on this great magic carpet ride. Or at least that is one of the things I left the circle with. I want a life without limitations, limitations that I put upon my own very self is totally reflected on my classes as well. My class is who I am, so whatever I shift, shifts my class and sharing practice completely.
Swinging back and forth between changing feelings and ideas, I try not to hold onto any one of them, just to see where one or the other will take me. Just like tonight, I will let the magic carpet do the ride, without limits and borders. My intention from this moment on, is to recognize the limits I set upon myself, to let them go and to enjoy the ride.
And I feel blessed to share this experience with this beautiful crowd.